Fashion! *finger quotes

It makes sense that I've been thinking about fashion lately. I've been back in Duluth for a year now, and I work for a major women's retailer based right here in my own home town. I never really paid that much attention to fashion before I started this job, to tell you the truth. And as I begin to think about it more and more, I have been observing those around me, looking for trends, what people are wearing, where our styles originate, how do we wear them. And I've come to a conclusion:

Duluthians don't do fashion.

Hate to say it, but it's true. And it makes sense, living in a town where the climate is largely inhospitable for much of the year. Toss away those stilettos, I need my winter boots, please. Forget the cute top with the ruch sleeves and sequined detail, I need layers, preferably made out of fleece, flannel or an animal. I won't eat that animal but am not above wrapping it around me for warmth when the windchill is -70.

Of course I exaggerate. It's what I do. But the truth is that Duluthians, by and large, have a difficult time embracing fashion and I feel it's mostly due to the weather. The other reason might have something to do with our frugal ancestors who hid hundred dollar bills in the walls of their homes and maintained the same hairstyle since the forties, but we won't go there. Except to say that that particular relative of mine still wore pantsuits from 50 years back. I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'.

So what's a girl to do, regardless of age or career, income or relationship status, to try to look good in a town so clueless to fashion? I intend to take a stab at that question, and through this blog hope to help the anti-fashionistas become a little bit more fashion-forward, without sending conservative/frugal little old granny through the roof. And along the way, hopefully I'll be able to help myself. In case you couldn't already tell, I'm the worst offender. I still own a pair of Crocs. Yes, it's that bad.

What a Difference a Year Makes

Hey guess what! I found a copy of Duluth Superior Magazine from May 2008. Exactly one year ago! Allow me to share the highlights:

They spelled Paul Connelly's name incorrectly and apoligized. Awww.

Lots of art talk. A feature on Sterling Rathsack, and an article suggesting that the introduction of an "Art Block" area in town could revitalize Duluth's economy, including a soundbyte by Mayor Ness as to how he plans to take on this challenge.

Leatherheads Fever!!!!!!! OMG George and Renee are in town!!!!!!

A photo shoot at the Duluth's Women's Club showcasing ladies' hats and outfits from Catherine Imports and Chico's, among others.

An article on wall sconces.

An article on olives.

At least three articles on flowers and gardening.

"10 to Watch", showcasing 10 local up-and-coming local people making their mark on our community.

A charming article written by Bea Ojakangas (love her, if for no other reason than her plain, honest writing style. No pretensions on that Bea.), local restaurants forgotten and remembered. Should have been named, "Don't Name Your Restaurant 'The Flame' Unless You Want it to Burn Down Multiple Times".

4 pages of socialite shots.

I'm just not feeling the current overwhelming hideousness of our economic condition in this magazine. I scoff at the suggestion that I should treat myself to an evening at the ultra-chic Sheraton for $119. That's my groceries for the month. Diamond-encrusted baby slippers on a chain around Mom's neck for Mother's Day? I think she'd be happy to afford real shoes for the babies. An article entitled, "SPRING PANIC! Strategies to Lose the Winter Weight". No problem. I live on brown rice and work two jobs, losing weight is at the bottom of my PANIC list.

Not that these articles weren't appropriate a year ago, they probably were. Now I expect to see suggestions on free or cheap day trips, frugality, penny-pinching and stretching the paycheck. Art is just as important as ever, and there are plenty of opportunities to appreciate art on a budget, in fact I'd like to see DSM do a comprehensive article on that subject. I just don't see Don Ness spending a whole lot of sleepless nights worrying over the lack of decent local galleries in Duluth. Nor should he. Oh yes, what a difference a year makes.

What's a girl gotta do to get some lo mein in this town?

WOW what a weekend. Homegrown rocked. I wound up in a moshpit at 3 am Saturday morning, The Keep Aways rocked my face off. Slept till noon and still felt pretty damaged, considered actually considered going home after working at my second job Saturday night. Yes I have two jobs. It's the economy, man. So I slubbed off to RT's on Saturday night, caught Pennies for a Dime. Man that guy can sing, great guitar work by Mikey and Fay is a fantastic drummer. Good set. Then off to Carmody to catch Acceleratii, never disappoints. Fuck You Gomez et al. Then back down to Luce to catch Cars and Trucks. Drinking some fine Surly, surprised at how the crowd thinned out between sets, although I'm sure people were mostly exhausted after a week of rocking out.

I'm standing at the bar when Fred Tyson sidles up to my friend and I. Me: "Fred, heard you had a great set on Thursday! Sorry I missed it." Fred: "That's all right, that's all right." Me: "Your drummer is a friend of mine." Fred: "Are you in love?" Me: Speechless. Aw, that's just Fred Tyson, ought to have a handler with him at all times. He did rock that shit at The Main on Thursday, as did the Hadji's. I hope I don't have to wait another year to catch what sounded like one of the best shows of Homegrown. I also have it on good authority (oh yeah, from that drummer friend of mine who I most certainly am NOT in love with, and I'm not breaking any hearts here) that Glass Ceiling may be making the rounds soon, they had them screaming and begging for more at an early set on Saturday. This I gotta see. Of course I missed that set, because I was working at my second job.

Which brings me to my point. Monday night I worked my second job. After working all day at the first job. Exhausted after the weekend, and craving some lo mein, I leave work and drive over to Beijing at the Plaza. Making the decision to pick up Chinese food is akin to buying expensive clothes for me: You have a basic need, but do you need to spend that much money? And isn't it a little frivolous when you could make scrambled eggs? I would have to work an hour at that crappy job to afford that pint of lo mein, but dammit, I'm tired, and I want lo mein! Plus cooking sucks. So I drive over, planning on pairing that lo mein with a glass of the Gazela that I have chilling in the fridge, when I realize there's not one, not two, but THREE Duluth city cop cars parked on the street and in the parking lot. Which is otherwise packed. Oh well, I'm a street smart girl, I'm sure everything is fine, I think, as I pull into the only open spot. Walking towards the joint, I pass a shuffling couple who are also keeping an eye on the squad cars, and the chick says to him, "Looks like the Chinese food place is getting robbed." At that point another squad pulls up and two officers RUN behind the building. That's it for me. No lo mein is worth my life! I turn around, get back in my car, and get out of there. Still no word on whatever went down at Beijing last night, but the Boca burger I had with that Gazela was fantastic. The Gazela was nice too. It truly is a beer drinker's wine.

Hey Chad, can I drive your Cooper when it gets out of the shop?

OK so here's Chad LaLor, and that's his adorable red Mini Cooper. Super trendy, flashy, high powered candy apple red Mini Cooper that goes for about $30,000, roughly twice as much as my own personal Corinna Corolla, bless her darling soul. Now I adore Corinna and her gas-miserly ways, but I would drop her in a heartbeat for a candy-apple-red Mini Cooper. Corinna, I'm sorry baby, it's the truth. Anywho, Chad LaLor is a guy who lives in Superior, Wisconsin, drives a Mini Cooper and likes to throw back a few on Friday evenings. Who doesn't? And when you live in Superior; hell, anywhere in Wisconsin, tying one on and drinking your way into oblivion isn't just a once-in-a-while occurrence, it's a requirement of residency, as far as I can tell. Especially on Fridays after you get off your shift. You see, Chad here is one of Superior's finest. That's right, he's not just a cop, he's a Captain. That, combined with the fact that he drives a Cooper, has made him irresistible to me. I'm completely smitten. What's even sexier about Chad is the fact that even though he kind of hit a truck on Friday when he was driving home at 2:30 am and swerved over the median, and then took off, which technically is a hit-and-run, is that because Chad is a cop he's got all the mad hook-ups. He probably won't even get a slap on the wrist! Ooh, Chad, you're above the law, you little hottie, you. I love a man with connections. And a pretty red car. Call me when you get it out of the shop, K, Chad, you sexy beast, you? I want to go drinking with you in Sup-town. That's sounds like a kick-ass Friday night to me.

This blog's name sucks

So the first order of business is a new name for this blog. It's already been decided that the purpose of this blog will be to point out the interesting, the odd and the unusual in our fair city of Duluth, Minnesota. The name should reflect the same slanted, ironic, twisted sense of humor. Hopefully I'll find it soon, maybe it will come to me in a dream. A dream I'll have when I slip and fall on the icy street and bump my head on a brick that's popped up out of the sidewalk at just the right angle, thus inducing euphoria, or is that just how Superior Street smells these days? When oh WHEN is that Norwegian restaurant opening again cuz I've got a hankering for a Lefse wrap that can't be sated.

Tomorrow is April Fool's Day and I have no pranks currently planned. No Saran Wrap over the toilet bowl. No eggs, no shaving cream. No costumery, no hilarity. There's plenty of targets, though, all around me. Perhaps the spirit will grab me and I'll hasten my way to the office supply closet to post-it someone's cubicle.... who will it be....